Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Thou shalt never accost!!

On quite a few occassions I have seen a decent looking new girl. Sometimes she is in the bus and I'm in the bus stand. Sometimes its the other way. Sometimes she is on a 2-wheeler and I'm walking. Sometimes its the other way. I havnt ofcourse 'accosted' any of these in my life time, but very often have rehearsed what my first line would be, if at all I garner all my guts to do so. The stress is on if at all, and this tragically stresses my heart. What an ultra-low confidence dud I am. Confidence or not, I have even mono-acted my words and the reaction from the other side. And no guesses, the reaction is without exception, always a cryogenic shoulder (an ultra ultra cold one, that is).

A few of the two way short conversations are like:

Me : Hi, can I talk to you for a minute please.
She: Ok. Your time starts now.
I beat my previous sprint record.

Me : Hi, I am ..
She : So.
Run!!

Me : I have been seeing you in the bus stand for a while now. My mind is totally troubled. I..
She : no she. the bus has already left.

Me : Hi, buy me a pizza.
She : You confused desi.
Phataack! there goes the one-tight-slap

Me : Hi, will you marry me?
She : Ofcourse, I wont!
And I was thinking my other cheek would be spared. Duh..

Me : Hi, can I drop you somewhere.
She : Buzz off.
I avoid eye contact with the she standing next to her.

My favourite only me and no she :

Hi, I am Josh. Sam Josh.

And finally, a dream sequence.

Hi. I am (that would be my name). I live in ( that would be my place). I work for (my company). I studied in (my college). I own a (that is my bike). I also have a (my car). I do (some arbit stuff). And I dont have a self-image, confidence and good looks.

She kneels, raises both hands to the sky, and sings(apparently a Shaggy fan), "Why him Lord!".

3 comments:

Krishna said...

Its high time you actually "accost" one of them now.I can see your hair, greying in bunches.Its now or never.
Not that I am a nike fan,but in their words,"just do it" :).

Vetty Max said...

Maga...I too agree with Krishna...why do arbit stuff like mono act..."Just do it".

Narayanan B said...

I too think mono acting is of no use.. and more importantly, results of real-time experiments on the field often surpass pessimistic expectations! Go for it.. dont be a barking dog.