So you had a good time with it in the beginning?
Yes. Very much. I still can vividly recollect the first time I got it and the effort that had gone into making it possible. This thing that I had, I worshipped. I cared for it more than anything in the world. I did everything just to make sure it stayed with me.
What happened then?
Slowly, without my realization, it turned into my obsession and my weakness. Its very thought became a kind of background activity in my mind's processor, 24x7. I became dangerously possissive. I began to feel that I OWNED it, in every sense.
How did it react?
This thing, insensitive and indifferent, never understood any of this. It never talked to me. How could it? It was dumb. And I have always been deaf to subconscious communications. But I sensed, wrongly I can say, that it considered me more equal to it than others.
And then?
Over time possessing it became a liability to my existence and I continued hanging on to it only because the memories, of the above said effort and the initial days spent with it, were still very strong.
Did it end then? This nexus?
Finally, after 18 months of a real strong bonding, I managed to lose it yesterday. It actually had a shelf life of another year and I had actually resolved to keep it with me for that long, even if it meant insanity. But destiny had its ways and I was only too human, weak and immature, to stick to my resolution. I bruised it to the core. Even the stone heart that it had, surprisingly gave way, and broke to pieces.
I am sorry.But..
Yes. Possessing it had its own ups and downs.But on an average, I was happy and consider myself lucky that I had it with me for this long.
How does it feel in its absence?
Its been over a day now. First time in 18 months I have no clue where it is or what it is doing. But surprisingly, I am quite cool about its loss. Afterall, I decided to get rid of it. So I cant crib. I had a very painful night yesterday, but I feel it is manageable. I am getting used to its absence pretty fast. I wouldnt say I am happy. But definitely I am not sad.
Would you like to tell it something?
It wont read this. But yes. I want it to know, somehow, that,
a..being possessive is not my natural trait.
b..circumstances made me a bad guy with bad thoughts.
c..and it was the most beautiful thing that I ever possessed.
Yes. Very much. I still can vividly recollect the first time I got it and the effort that had gone into making it possible. This thing that I had, I worshipped. I cared for it more than anything in the world. I did everything just to make sure it stayed with me.
What happened then?
Slowly, without my realization, it turned into my obsession and my weakness. Its very thought became a kind of background activity in my mind's processor, 24x7. I became dangerously possissive. I began to feel that I OWNED it, in every sense.
How did it react?
This thing, insensitive and indifferent, never understood any of this. It never talked to me. How could it? It was dumb. And I have always been deaf to subconscious communications. But I sensed, wrongly I can say, that it considered me more equal to it than others.
And then?
Over time possessing it became a liability to my existence and I continued hanging on to it only because the memories, of the above said effort and the initial days spent with it, were still very strong.
Did it end then? This nexus?
Finally, after 18 months of a real strong bonding, I managed to lose it yesterday. It actually had a shelf life of another year and I had actually resolved to keep it with me for that long, even if it meant insanity. But destiny had its ways and I was only too human, weak and immature, to stick to my resolution. I bruised it to the core. Even the stone heart that it had, surprisingly gave way, and broke to pieces.
I am sorry.But..
Yes. Possessing it had its own ups and downs.But on an average, I was happy and consider myself lucky that I had it with me for this long.
How does it feel in its absence?
Its been over a day now. First time in 18 months I have no clue where it is or what it is doing. But surprisingly, I am quite cool about its loss. Afterall, I decided to get rid of it. So I cant crib. I had a very painful night yesterday, but I feel it is manageable. I am getting used to its absence pretty fast. I wouldnt say I am happy. But definitely I am not sad.
Would you like to tell it something?
It wont read this. But yes. I want it to know, somehow, that,
a..being possessive is not my natural trait.
b..circumstances made me a bad guy with bad thoughts.
c..and it was the most beautiful thing that I ever possessed.
7 comments:
Samsung Cell phone a? :P
what is this it.. * looks dazed n confused *
i think i know wht "it" is..and if it is wht i think it is,..then i am happy for u,...bravo!
Naai bala donku?
Estambol Grand Prix Podium finish Champagne Post race interview level.
@kow
u think right. thank u
@nari
he he he! same interview. i dont like instanbul anymore.
but illa man.. no scope to bend the tail this time.
@kesava!
D500 i lost long time back. this this was insensitive and indifferent, but not lifeless man.
@arati
yeh it it kya hai..
yeh it it :D
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